Two Sundays ago, Mike Erie touched on grieving. He said, "We grieve, but not as those who have no hope."
I like that. New motto.
How I think: I can grieve, but I have hope in Christ, so I need to not dwell on the grieving, but I need to be able to grieve.
How I feel: I hate grieving; hate it. I don’t care if its part of the process, it sucks, and it hurts, and yuck!
Why cant I fly pass grieving? I don't like that there has to be this period that is designated to my "grieving time". I get that it has to happen, but I hate it, and I want it done.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Girlfriends
Now that I know how to do pics!!! I want to throw some up of my good girl friends whom I love! Without you wonderful ladies, life would be so dim and sad.....
Dont we look like we are having so much fun! :)
Dont we look like we are having so much fun! :)
I learned how to do pics!!!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
To go Dark Brown, or stay Blonde? That is my question...
Yep, im having a debate of whether to keep highlighting my hair blonde, OR to take a drastic step and die it dark aurburnish brown. So, ill give you a little history with my hair. I was born blonde (actually red, but that was only 3 months) and when I say blonde I mean BLONDE!!! Then as I started getting older, I had darker blonde pieces come in which left me a head of hair with perfect highlights that people kill for. Unfortunately, I was only 12-14 at the time and couldn't appreciate what I would some day pay thousands to maintain. ahhhhhhh...... Anways, once I hit 16 (my mother warned me as well) My hair started growing in light brown, dark blonde to brown haired people. This left me with a natural look of roots. I looked like this whole time I had been dying my hair blonde and now just got lazy!! So I did the sensible thing in such a crisis moment, I went to get it highlighted, which really just looked like dying, bc 2 inches off my head was blonde again, and only at the top, the blonde and brown.
My hair also turns blonder in the sun, and therefore, I actually started highlighting AND lowlighting (putting a dark color in) so you could see that I had just spent $150 on my hair. If it was going to be unnatural, then I wanted it to look better than just plain blonde. I am now off the lowlighting kick, bc I have decided my dark growing in is low enough, bc yes, it is getting darker as I get older, yet still blonde mid-way down my hair when the sun hits it. Really? two-toned? So, some sort of dying has to be done, or I will look like the girls who are over their highlights, but don't die their hair to match their normal hair color and have their highlights slowly inching down their head, gross. I'm sorry if that's you, but gross.
So this summer, I had a revelation, what if i went dark?! For 10 years I have only ventured out to perm my hair, and don't get scared, not 80s perm, just waves, a relaxed perm if you will. So, I thought, dark would be cool, I have bright blue eyes, I bet that would look good.
But, you see, I have never been anything but blonde, or blonder, so dark, and auburnish dark at that is a drastic change! I was psyched for it! but, then one little thing happened. That one person that you want to be like, "oh yah, beck, that will look great", made a face. A face! and was like noooooo. UGH! So now, torn. Do I die it dark and risk seeing that face every time I have a glance in my direction? Or stay the same blonde I have always been wondering if I will actually ever get that face glanced at me? I'll prob die it anyways, just for a change, but this new found piece of information really put a kink in what I thought was a right move.
decisions, decisions ........ What do you think?
My hair also turns blonder in the sun, and therefore, I actually started highlighting AND lowlighting (putting a dark color in) so you could see that I had just spent $150 on my hair. If it was going to be unnatural, then I wanted it to look better than just plain blonde. I am now off the lowlighting kick, bc I have decided my dark growing in is low enough, bc yes, it is getting darker as I get older, yet still blonde mid-way down my hair when the sun hits it. Really? two-toned? So, some sort of dying has to be done, or I will look like the girls who are over their highlights, but don't die their hair to match their normal hair color and have their highlights slowly inching down their head, gross. I'm sorry if that's you, but gross.
So this summer, I had a revelation, what if i went dark?! For 10 years I have only ventured out to perm my hair, and don't get scared, not 80s perm, just waves, a relaxed perm if you will. So, I thought, dark would be cool, I have bright blue eyes, I bet that would look good.
But, you see, I have never been anything but blonde, or blonder, so dark, and auburnish dark at that is a drastic change! I was psyched for it! but, then one little thing happened. That one person that you want to be like, "oh yah, beck, that will look great", made a face. A face! and was like noooooo. UGH! So now, torn. Do I die it dark and risk seeing that face every time I have a glance in my direction? Or stay the same blonde I have always been wondering if I will actually ever get that face glanced at me? I'll prob die it anyways, just for a change, but this new found piece of information really put a kink in what I thought was a right move.
decisions, decisions ........ What do you think?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Girls Weekend
There is something to a girls weekend, that just makes me all giddy, excited, ready to push myself to stay up late, talk about everything in my life, and eat ice cream and candy.
This past weekend, I went away to Palm Springs with my 2 awesome friends, Liz and Krystal. I love these girls. We are def. different in how we look, act, process, etc, but the important stuff we have in common, our love for each other and "thereness". Thereness - the act of being there for someone.
So, awesome amazing Krystal has a timeshare in Palm Springs that we fled to in hopes of aforementioned pigging out, spilling guts, and staying up late. We did just that. :)
On the car ride over, all of us spilled about our weeks, so during the weekend, there didn't have to be any backstories given. (a much needed essential for all girl trips, i might add) :)
We got in on Friday night, and went straight to Ralphs (yes before the timeshare, TS) to buy the essentials. I am trying to be a bit healthy, so replaced my ice cream with sherbert, and my chocalte candies with candy corn and mints.
Nest item up on the agenda was to start the quest of getting Krystal caught up on The Office episodes. DVD 1 popped in. We laughed and ate our junk food, it was wonderful. DVD 2, in.
Saturday morning I wake up to find Krystal and Liz eating cereal (M&M's have already been consumed) DVD 2 in again. We walked to starbucks, to get some exercise, and yes! those 5 blocks did help, but prob not after I had my tall caramel frap light, no whip. :) It was beautiful outside! Came back, DVD 3 in. We laid out by the pool and had one of the most disturbing experiences: an Old man (early 70s) walked by and told us that we were giving him a medical emergency everytime he walked by. EWWWWWWW! I was grossed out, Krystal and Liz just laughed. Seriously tho? 70s! yuck!
We cleaned up, little more DVD and then got all cutsied up to go out!!! We went to a great Mexican restaurant that had live music and great food! Los Casuelos. It also had a brochure for a show girls show, where the oldest show girl performs, she's 85!!! ah! I think I'll tell that man by the pool.....
We then attempted to go dancing. I say attempted , bc none of us have been out dancing in years, ...... and we were in palm springs. We went to Costas, a club inside the Marriot. The median age was def. 30s. We did a lot of laughing, and omg'ing, and yes, we even did some dancing, yet called it a night early. DVD 4 in.
Sunday, just got up and watched more office, ate the last bit of junk food, all vowing not to eat that much again in a such a short period of time. Drove back.
Ahhhhhhhhhh! Girls weekend! I swear guys weekends have nothing on a girls weekend. It can't be put into words, but there is something amazing about it.
Oh, and I ran 7 miles later on Sunday to combat the junk food. Gotta have a balance. :)
This past weekend, I went away to Palm Springs with my 2 awesome friends, Liz and Krystal. I love these girls. We are def. different in how we look, act, process, etc, but the important stuff we have in common, our love for each other and "thereness". Thereness - the act of being there for someone.
So, awesome amazing Krystal has a timeshare in Palm Springs that we fled to in hopes of aforementioned pigging out, spilling guts, and staying up late. We did just that. :)
On the car ride over, all of us spilled about our weeks, so during the weekend, there didn't have to be any backstories given. (a much needed essential for all girl trips, i might add) :)
We got in on Friday night, and went straight to Ralphs (yes before the timeshare, TS) to buy the essentials. I am trying to be a bit healthy, so replaced my ice cream with sherbert, and my chocalte candies with candy corn and mints.
Nest item up on the agenda was to start the quest of getting Krystal caught up on The Office episodes. DVD 1 popped in. We laughed and ate our junk food, it was wonderful. DVD 2, in.
Saturday morning I wake up to find Krystal and Liz eating cereal (M&M's have already been consumed) DVD 2 in again. We walked to starbucks, to get some exercise, and yes! those 5 blocks did help, but prob not after I had my tall caramel frap light, no whip. :) It was beautiful outside! Came back, DVD 3 in. We laid out by the pool and had one of the most disturbing experiences: an Old man (early 70s) walked by and told us that we were giving him a medical emergency everytime he walked by. EWWWWWWW! I was grossed out, Krystal and Liz just laughed. Seriously tho? 70s! yuck!
We cleaned up, little more DVD and then got all cutsied up to go out!!! We went to a great Mexican restaurant that had live music and great food! Los Casuelos. It also had a brochure for a show girls show, where the oldest show girl performs, she's 85!!! ah! I think I'll tell that man by the pool.....
We then attempted to go dancing. I say attempted , bc none of us have been out dancing in years, ...... and we were in palm springs. We went to Costas, a club inside the Marriot. The median age was def. 30s. We did a lot of laughing, and omg'ing, and yes, we even did some dancing, yet called it a night early. DVD 4 in.
Sunday, just got up and watched more office, ate the last bit of junk food, all vowing not to eat that much again in a such a short period of time. Drove back.
Ahhhhhhhhhh! Girls weekend! I swear guys weekends have nothing on a girls weekend. It can't be put into words, but there is something amazing about it.
Oh, and I ran 7 miles later on Sunday to combat the junk food. Gotta have a balance. :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Steady as we go.......
I know how I feel. I know that I can sit here and write, and write, and reveal some of my innermost thoughts and feelings I have; exposing them to the vast Internet world. But instead, I think I'm going to let Dave handle this one, and keep the thoughts and feelings to the journal for now.....
Steady As We Go
I'll walk halfway around the world just to sit down by your side
I would do most anything, girl to be the apple of your eye
Troubles they may come and go but good times they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
Any place you wanna go you know I'll be next to you
If it's treasure, baby, you're looking for I'll search the whole world through
Troubles they may come and go but good times they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
When the storm comes you shelter me
When I don't say a word and you know exactly what I mean
In the darkest times you shine on me
You set me free
Keep me steady as we go
So if your heart wrings dry, my love I will fill your cup
and if your load gets heavy, girl I will lift you up
Troubles they may come and go but good times be the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
shine on me, baby
Steady As We Go
I'll walk halfway around the world just to sit down by your side
I would do most anything, girl to be the apple of your eye
Troubles they may come and go but good times they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
Any place you wanna go you know I'll be next to you
If it's treasure, baby, you're looking for I'll search the whole world through
Troubles they may come and go but good times they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
When the storm comes you shelter me
When I don't say a word and you know exactly what I mean
In the darkest times you shine on me
You set me free
Keep me steady as we go
So if your heart wrings dry, my love I will fill your cup
and if your load gets heavy, girl I will lift you up
Troubles they may come and go but good times be the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl Just steady as we go
shine on me, baby
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Milestone Weekend
I had 3 major milestones this weekend.
1. I cleaned and unpacked. Yes, I moved in April, and no, Im not even done unpacking yet :( BUT! I had a major unpacking accomplishment! I collect ceramic masks, have 26 in total now. For the past 2 years I have not had them up in my room, bc I wind up moving every year and it is a hassle to wrap and pack and then unwrap and arrange and hang these masks. But I decided my room was bare, so with opening football on in the background, I set to unpacking, arranging and nailing. In the process I found picture frames with pics from highschool that are now making my walls adorned. I also cleaned my whole bathroom, mopped floors, vacuumed, soooo nice in my place now!!! sooo happy! Dont' know how long it will last, but my room looks much better! and won't be embarrassed to show it to people now :)
2. I ran 7 miles on Saturday morning!!!! This is not only the farthest I have ever run in my life at one time! It is by far the farthest I have ever run in the morning, which is always harder for me to do. I just have way more energy after a day of eating. Im super in pain now, about 4 days later in my calves, but it was sooo worth it! bc now I know I can do this 1/2 marathon! heck! im over 1/2way there!!! AND to top it off, I shaved a min off my normal mile time. woohoo! maybe my normal mile time isnt so normal anymore.... :)
3. I gave up drinking alcohol. No more for me, ever. I had given up alcohol in June of 2007 for 9 months, taking a break from it; I'm not a big drinker anyways. I decided it was ok as long as I didn't have more than 1 drink. Then, I decided it was ok, as long as I didnt get drunk. Then I decided....... and so on. Well, this past weekend, I looked at myself, and questioned why I enjoyed it so much. For those of you that know me, I have a fear that one day I will be an alcoholic. So, preventative measures have been taken, once and for all.! Its bye to beer, farewell to Jackie boy. Some might think this is a tragedy. I'm actually pretty happy about it, knowing that something that gets a hold of us and changes us for the worse has just got beaten! :)
Id say it was a good weekend
1. I cleaned and unpacked. Yes, I moved in April, and no, Im not even done unpacking yet :( BUT! I had a major unpacking accomplishment! I collect ceramic masks, have 26 in total now. For the past 2 years I have not had them up in my room, bc I wind up moving every year and it is a hassle to wrap and pack and then unwrap and arrange and hang these masks. But I decided my room was bare, so with opening football on in the background, I set to unpacking, arranging and nailing. In the process I found picture frames with pics from highschool that are now making my walls adorned. I also cleaned my whole bathroom, mopped floors, vacuumed, soooo nice in my place now!!! sooo happy! Dont' know how long it will last, but my room looks much better! and won't be embarrassed to show it to people now :)
2. I ran 7 miles on Saturday morning!!!! This is not only the farthest I have ever run in my life at one time! It is by far the farthest I have ever run in the morning, which is always harder for me to do. I just have way more energy after a day of eating. Im super in pain now, about 4 days later in my calves, but it was sooo worth it! bc now I know I can do this 1/2 marathon! heck! im over 1/2way there!!! AND to top it off, I shaved a min off my normal mile time. woohoo! maybe my normal mile time isnt so normal anymore.... :)
3. I gave up drinking alcohol. No more for me, ever. I had given up alcohol in June of 2007 for 9 months, taking a break from it; I'm not a big drinker anyways. I decided it was ok as long as I didn't have more than 1 drink. Then, I decided it was ok, as long as I didnt get drunk. Then I decided....... and so on. Well, this past weekend, I looked at myself, and questioned why I enjoyed it so much. For those of you that know me, I have a fear that one day I will be an alcoholic. So, preventative measures have been taken, once and for all.! Its bye to beer, farewell to Jackie boy. Some might think this is a tragedy. I'm actually pretty happy about it, knowing that something that gets a hold of us and changes us for the worse has just got beaten! :)
Id say it was a good weekend
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